If you have ever been in a wedding, attended a wedding, or heck, if you’ve ever watched a movie about a wedding you’ve heard some variation of this line:
Lord have mercy. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a bridesmaid, mother of the bride, or random guest exclaim this piece of advice, I could probably retire.
It never used to bother me until this year. I had a bit of an epiphany about the message that simple exclamation was sending. I realized that those well-intentioned instructions not to cry, in a way, was saying, “How you look is more important than how you feel.”
Cue my bleeding heart.
I have had brides intentionally not read letters from their groom for fear of crying and ruining their makeup. There are many times bridesmaids rush into a sweet moment between the bride and groom to stop a rogue tear before it had the chance to fall down her cheek. I have seen brides avoid looking at their fathers, because they knew they would tear up.
Because you know what? There aren’t enough moments in life that bring a happy tear to your eye. Living in the moment isn’t easy to do. It’s hard for many brides to come to grips with the fact that the day they’ve waited for for so long is finally here. It’s hard to remind yourself to take it all in, because it really does go by so fast.
If you feel yourself getting emotional, it’s because you realize you ARE living in the moment. You have realized the day is here. You are taking it all in. Don’t let anyone take that away from you – even for your makeup.
I want you to be less concerned with the makeup, and more engrossed in all of the wonderful emotions that are being felt. Let yourself feel the love in your grooms words he’s thoughtfully written. I hope your best friend let’s you have that tender moment with your groom where a tear rolls down your cheek. Let yourself feel grateful for your father, and for the way he dotes on you. Put those feelings, emotions, and memories over makeup.
And I get it, you don’t want to look like a raccoon. Hire a makeup artist that you trust, and do a trial run. If you know you are a more emotional person, ask your makeup artist about pricing to do touch up’s midway through the day. But whatever you do, don’t let anyone rob you of your wedding day. Put the memories over makeup and enjoy your wedding day – emotions and all!
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