Love Languages

I find myself talking about love languages a lot. I really think it is something every one should know about, because it gives you the framework to understand people, and their motives. I know when Brian and I took the test, it was a game changer for us! There were so many things that we didn’t understand about each other that would cause miscommunications, that now, make perfect sense.

The 5 Love Languages explain how different people show and understand love. The idea is that by figuring out the way that you understand love, and learning about the other ways that people tend to show love, there will be less miscommunications between you and those that you love.

I took the test (just go to www.5lovelanguages.com and click “discover your language”), and found out that I show and understand love through spending Quality Time with the people I love and Personal Touch. I want to hang out together, hear about your day, and just catch up. Brian, on the other hand, shows love through Acts of Service, which is where he shows love through doing tasks.

So picture this: Brian gets home from work, I am ready to show him love by asking about his day, and having quality conversation. He tries to show me love by going straight over to the kitchen and doing the dishes that I forgot to do. He is trying to love me, and I am trying to love him, but it looks very different. In the end, I would be frustrated, because I felt like he was prioritizing the dishes over me. He would be frustated because he felt like he was helping me by taking over a chore so I wouldn’t have to do it and I was mad at him for it?

Once we took the test, we both were wow’d. All of the sudden, I had the framework to understand his actions and he had the framework to understand mine. I now know that doing small tasks around the house can help him feel loved, more so than a back rub (which is my usual go to). He now knows that I care less about house chores getting done, and that a big hug after work makes me feel more loved.

Learning about the Love Languages has not only helped me understand and show love better to my husband, but to my family and friends too. You can understand their actions better, and you can show them love in a language that makes the most sense to them.

I definitely recommend looking into the book, but at the very least, take the test online! 🙂