When you inquire with me, your name goes on a little notepad next to my computer. I take notes from your initial email about your venue, and what you’ve told me about you as a couple.

This is especially true if I’ve had a consult with you! If we’ve sat down and talked, you probably have a lot of notes: things I would write in your blog, little interactions I noticed between the two of you, and the logistics of your day. I’ve probably already scribbled down vendors I think you would really like, or even started working on your timeline.

From that first email you send, I start investing in you, your relationship, and your wedding day. I do this because I care about each and every one of my couples.

And sadly, many times, that is the last time I hear from that couple.


I know I talk a lot about how much I love my job…and I do. If there was one part of my job that drives me crazy, it’s the ghosting.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, ghosting is when you end a relationship by suddenly and without explanation, withdrawing from communication.


Unfortunately, ghosting fairly normal in this line of work. Sometimes even after spending a lot of time getting to know a couple, their story, and about their vision for their wedding day.

It feels like not getting called again after what I thought was a really great first date.



I get it! Couples are busy. They send multiple inquiries to multiple vendors and that is a lot to keep up with. In fact, I was guilty of it when I was wedding planning because I didn’t know any better!

I always want to remind couples that most wedding vendors are small businesses. We aren’t big corporations that would never notice that we never heard back from you.

Some of us even have your name scribbled on a note by their computer.

Feedback is so valuable to a small business. If you have any reservations, share them with your potential vendor. If you have made up your mind and have decided to go in a different direction, be sure to tell them. You’ll get super bonus points for sharing why you came to that decision.

Whether it has to do with budget, style, or something else – feedback only helps us grow. I’ve gotten the “Hey, we love your work, but we just couldn’t swing it in our budget” email more times than I can count. Anytime I get that message, I try to help the couple find someone who IS in their budget!

Instead of ghosting vendors, consider using your thoughts and feedback to help them grow. I appreciate each time a couple makes an effort to not leave me on a cliffhanger. Knowing where a couple is in the decision making process is such a value to me. When couples avoid ghosting, I can continue to improve my client experience, and grow in my craft!

Want to learn more? Click here for couples wedding planning!